She walked in to the first pot shop….err…coffee shop she saw in the tourist ridden city block of Amsterdam she found herself in. Confident in her knowledge of marijuana from her three years of high school and early college exploratory experiences she ordered the pot clerk around like a bellman.
“I’ll have a bit of that one…and that one…oh, and “White Lightning” for sure,” she said nauseatingly assured. The salesman was annoyed but endured the interaction for the sale.
“Anything else?” he questioned.
“Yes, I’ll need a blunt wrap, please. Preferably White Owl if you have it.”
The salesman looked at her with an expression that looked both offended and confused.
“A blunt wrap?”
She began to explain better what she meant in the event that he didn’t understand her english. He cut her off and explained that no one in The Netherlands smoked marijuana in blunt form as the product was potent and smoking it in such large quantities was simply a waste of perfectly good weed. He encouraged her to purchase rolling papers and stick with small joints, an idea that she scoffed at. This bellman clearly knew nothing. She would take whatever blunt wrap he had available for purchase and away she went.
As liberal as The Netherlands was in 2007 it still had its limits. Smoking weed on the streets was frowned upon and she was encouraged to enjoy her over-stuffed blunt in the comfort of the pot shop. Enjoy it she did. However, it didn’t take her long to realize the bellman was in fact knowledgeable about his product and she was quickly regretting her decision to live Texas style. Go Big or Go Home was a mistake. Now two-thirds of this blunt would have to be wrapped in a tissue and stuffed inside her purse as there was no way she could endure another inhale. This decision brought several pot shop onlookers a great deal of satisfaction as she tried to hide her incredible high and barely smoked blunt in front of these far more astute weed smokers with their perfect little dutch joints.
Stupid American, they thought.
Stupid American was right.